Warning: This article discusses sensitive topics including suicide that may be distressing to some readers.
The final, haunting journal entry of Swedish DJ Avicii, whose real name was Tim Bergling, has resurfaced following the release of a new Netflix documentary about his life. The documentary, I Am Tim, launched on December 31, delves into Avicii’s extraordinary journey from a shy and insecure boy to one of the world’s most beloved artists.
Avicii, known for chart-topping hits like “Levels” and albums such as True, tragically took his own life in Oman in 2018 at the age of 28. His death shocked millions of fans worldwide, who had hoped the artist would continue to make music for years to come. In the years leading up to his death, Avicii struggled with addiction to painkillers and mental health challenges, while maintaining an exhausting touring schedule that saw him perform 800 shows over a six-year period.
The Netflix documentary provides a deep and personal insight into Avicii’s life, told through his own words. It features home videos, private footage, and narration by the artist himself, allowing viewers to hear directly from Tim as he shares his inner thoughts. The documentary also includes interviews with family, friends, and colleagues, providing a more intimate portrait of the man behind the public figure.
Prior to his death, Avicii had expressed feelings of unhappiness despite his fame. In a journal he kept during his time in rehab for drug and alcohol abuse, he openly discussed the struggles he faced with addiction, anxiety, and his efforts to recover. One journal entry highlighted how challenging it was for him to accept the advice from doctors to stop drinking alcohol after being diagnosed with acute pancreatitis, a condition that had required hospitalization in 2012 and 2013.
“I had a hard time accepting never drinking again,” Avicii wrote. “It was strongly suggested by all doctors to wait at least a year before even having a beer. But I didn’t listen to most of them and listened to the couple who said it was OK if I was careful. I was ignorant and naïve, still on the never-ending tour.”
He continued, describing how his time in the hospital, despite the circumstances, were some of the most peaceful days he had experienced in recent years. “Those days in hospital were the most anxiety and stress-free days I can remember the past six years. Those were my true vacations, as depressing as it might sound.”
Avicii also turned to meditation practices from Maharishi Mahesh Yogi to help him cope. He noted that meditating for long stretches of time, often exceeding the recommended 20 minutes, was both a calming and unsettling experience. “It feels like I am in a new default mode of being, which is very new and a little bit scary,” he wrote. “I remember the tip to focus on my breathing.”
However, his final journal entry, written before his death, was particularly distressing. It read: “The shedding of the soul is the last attachment, before it restarts!”
This last note has sparked renewed conversations about the pressures Avicii faced as a global music icon and the mental health struggles he quietly endured. His tragic passing and the resurfacing of these personal writings remind the world of the need for greater awareness and support for mental health, particularly among those in the spotlight.
The release of I Am Tim offers fans a closer, more personal look at the life of Avicii and the person behind the music. As the world continues to mourn his loss, the documentary helps preserve his legacy while shedding light on the complex journey he faced.
